Another night

Another night you terrorize my mind.
Anther sleepless night memories start to die.
Another miserable night I wander to let this go.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me is only you ?
What am I supposed to say when I'm Another night you terrorize my mind.
Anther sleepless night memories start to die.
Another miserable night I wander to let this go.

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me is only you ?
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up yet you're okay?

I should have let go of the drilling pain, knowing myself isn't as tough as others.
The farcade I've been putting on is too old to be changed. Nothing else can be revealed.

Things You Wouldnt Understand

Never know why I did this.
Never understand why I felt so.
Never figure out my way.
Never accept my reasons.

When you are the cause of the dramatic change of another person yet you dont know, without any sense of guilt you pushed her away again and again. One condemn, she walked a step closer to the cliff. One and another one. Just one more, at the verge she would fall down anytime.

When you wonder how could she behave in such a way while ironically every of your actions, significant or not, have triggered negative emotions in her, you hurt her twice as more because you think that you are innocent.

When you lamented on how bad your life has been, how sick you are being treated to her while she has to bear your grievances together with hers. Just because you never stand in her shoes and be concerned about her.

:)

I am so used to sending smileys to you. At the same time worried if i'll convey wrong message that you will start avoiding me.

When night slams on the door
Quietly i cried for the incident
Saying im okay while i not
The 'cheerup' simply too precious
I'll take this chance.

Afraid that i'll do wrong
Wrong that i always want to complete somebody
Wrong that i took the wrong path
Wrong that you might not with me
No matter how wrong i want to just do it
No matter how courageous am i to do it i still afraid.

Mistakes Take It All

Just when I had taken up the courage to get inch closer, the mouth who spoke took it all.
Just when I had started be good, the eyes who despised shut it all.
Just when I had learnt the lessons, the hearts who scarred erases them all.

I have made much mistakes in life that entirely change my opinion towards life regardless how serious they are. I sincerely cried for remorse, yet tears was turned down. No matter how hard I begged for another chance. Even though I tried on changing my attitude of living, behaving, thoughts yet effort was being taken for granted. I shivered for some warmth. I crept desperately in bleakness. I wandered miserably between good and evil, black and white.

The struggle has transformed me into another person with different personality. If I take a closer look, I could say that environment has triggered such drastic change of mind. I'm not the old me, neither am i the soft me. I'm just a perfect stranger to you.

Just when you started to doubt why am i being capricious.
Just when you started to regret of what you have done.
Just when a glimmer of hope has shattered into dust.

Who should we put this blame on?

Just when we listened to too much of grievances.

Sweat and Tears

I do remember the sunny afternoon
We walked to a destination
Which both felt the same upon reaching
When i got injured
Cotton plaster you got me
Regardless the sweat on shirt.

I do remember a Saturday morning
How light shone onto our face
Active teenagers
Lively day
Gloomy tears.

Goodbye
I'll remember the silent night
Moonlight surrendered me sleepless night
Yet stupidly reminiscing your white promises
Blaming myself for being naive.

Even if i were given a choice to look back
I'd choose to move on
For you cant stop my way
As guilt doesn't take control over conscience
The world isnt such small
That i deeply understand
Some kind of goodbye is regretful
But I'll turn them into a beautiful regret.

Diary

A place where i can express my grievances. Open my pandora box. Sharing all my secrets.

I dont like telling some private issue or problems that trouble me, not even to closest friend. So please understand me. I dont really bottle up everything. But i think it speaks the best when i say nothing but understanding myself. This is what even more important i guess.

To explain to myself.
To know myself.
To forgive myself.

If you are with me. Just pray for me when i'm broken. Or give me a hug, than keep asking me for some why's. :)

Haunt

There's a ghost in me
Making errie sound
Chilling me out of bones
Striking fear in soul
Wanting me to leave this bloody place cold.

As good as being alone
Strumming rusted strings
Soothing melody starting from a 'Do'
A glimmer of hope
Rises from deepest sorrow.

Hence I delved into bleakness
To beg for a release
Yet he turned his back with no mercy
Saying its fate to be weary.

渺小

踏入寺庙的那一刻，香烟将我罩起，四周迷茫，钟声将我惊起，还我清静的心灵。一尊一尊佛像摆在眼前，站在规模宏大的这里，还有高高伫立的大柱旁，闻着木香，摸着龙雕，我觉得好渺小。

将一切知识掏尽，与无边际的大海相比，微不足道。将所有情感映在脸上，与无限好的夕阳相较，更加微妙。

有些人把自己看得太重，又或是的给予别人过重的寄望，撑着唯我走天下的豪气。当他们回头望时，才发现自己的倒影不过是随波逐流罢了。

自己的消失及存在，改变不了万物生态的延续。自己的抱怨，改变不了自身的伤感。自己的仇恨，改变不了世界的规律。很多时候，个人力量改变不了什么。

与其钻牛角尖，冀望他人为我改变，不如学习改变自己，让自己过得更快乐。快乐，得先学习消除心中仇恨，减少埋怨，以正面思维面对生活的困苦。把心中的棘荆磨成动力的泉源；将人生的悲痛化为心境的成长剂；将日子的低潮烤成生动的热情。

惬意地呼吸，自我地漫步，陶醉地弹琴，忘了我忘了自己，聆听内心的呻吟。茫茫宇宙，自己不过是颗尘埃。过得痛苦不如鼓起勇气制造快乐，让心成长，让快乐滋长。

懂得放下面具的人，并非豁达，他们领悟世界的广泛。懂得放下包袱的人，并非劳累，他们看见来时路。懂得歇下自尊的人，并非颓废，他们看见自身渺小。

我们绝对没资格与天体拼在一起相比。唯有内心的强大，才可以在这天体持续呼吸；唯有健康的信心，才可以在这天体生存。

回忆

小丫头，绑着辫子，跳啊跳，不觉似地长大了。

成长，我都形容它为贪婪的时光机。把我美好时光无情掠走， 留下的仅有回忆。
而回忆，到底藏在哪里。
许多过去，遗憾无法回到从前。许多以前，感叹逝去的曾经。就因回忆里的大小细节，才有今天的我。
林花谢了春红，太匆匆，无奈朝来寒雨晚来风。就因会失去，回忆特显珍贵。相片会不见，号码会更换，地址也会变，唯一不变的回忆，才是无价之宝。细心品尝，才明白回忆里袋着的香气，可宁我之神，旷我之怡。