:)

I am so used to sending smileys to you. At the same time worried if i'll convey wrong message that you will start avoiding me.

When night slams on the door
Quietly i cried for the incident
Saying im okay while i not
The 'cheerup' simply too precious
I'll take this chance.

Afraid that i'll do wrong
Wrong that i always want to complete somebody
Wrong that i took the wrong path
Wrong that you might not with me
No matter how wrong i want to just do it
No matter how courageous am i to do it i still afraid.

Mistakes Take It All

Just when I had taken up the courage to get inch closer, the mouth who spoke took it all.
Just when I had started be good, the eyes who despised shut it all.
Just when I had learnt the lessons, the hearts who scarred erases them all.

I have made much mistakes in life that entirely change my opinion towards life regardless how serious they are. I sincerely cried for remorse, yet tears was turned down. No matter how hard I begged for another chance. Even though I tried on changing my attitude of living, behaving, thoughts yet effort was being taken for granted. I shivered for some warmth. I crept desperately in bleakness. I wandered miserably between good and evil, black and white.

The struggle has transformed me into another person with different personality. If I take a closer look, I could say that environment has triggered such drastic change of mind. I'm not the old me, neither am i the soft me. I'm just a perfect stranger to you.

Just when you started to doubt why am i being capricious.
Just when you started to regret of what you have done.
Just when a glimmer of hope has shattered into dust.

Who should we put this blame on?

Just when we listened to too much of grievances.

Sweat and Tears

I do remember the sunny afternoon
We walked to a destination
Which both felt the same upon reaching
When i got injured
Cotton plaster you got me
Regardless the sweat on shirt.

I do remember a Saturday morning
How light shone onto our face
Active teenagers
Lively day
Gloomy tears.

Goodbye
I'll remember the silent night
Moonlight surrendered me sleepless night
Yet stupidly reminiscing your white promises
Blaming myself for being naive.

Even if i were given a choice to look back
I'd choose to move on
For you cant stop my way
As guilt doesn't take control over conscience
The world isnt such small
That i deeply understand
Some kind of goodbye is regretful
But I'll turn them into a beautiful regret.

Diary

A place where i can express my grievances. Open my pandora box. Sharing all my secrets.

I dont like telling some private issue or problems that trouble me, not even to closest friend. So please understand me. I dont really bottle up everything. But i think it speaks the best when i say nothing but understanding myself. This is what even more important i guess.

To explain to myself.
To know myself.
To forgive myself.

If you are with me. Just pray for me when i'm broken. Or give me a hug, than keep asking me for some why's. :)

Haunt

There's a ghost in me
Making errie sound
Chilling me out of bones
Striking fear in soul
Wanting me to leave this bloody place cold.

As good as being alone
Strumming rusted strings
Soothing melody starting from a 'Do'
A glimmer of hope
Rises from deepest sorrow.

Hence I delved into bleakness
To beg for a release
Yet he turned his back with no mercy
Saying its fate to be weary.